This is why we can't have nice things
by The-stuttering-kiwi
Summary: Following the Thor and Avenger movies. Closely following Loki and another child Odin brought back to Asgard. As their relationship grows into something more serious, can Sigrun protect Loki from the choices he's made?
1. Chapter 1

**And at once I knew I was not magnificent**  
**Strayed above the highway aisle**  
**(Jagged vacance, thick with ice)**  
**I could see for miles, miles, miles**

_**Bon Iver - "Holocene"**_

* * *

"Today's the day then?" Loki barges into Sigrun's room, already dressed in his ceremonial garb.

"I suppose it is. He has been awfully full of himself lately, which is saying something for Thor." She said half interested in joining Loki in his pity party, something rather frequent as of late, as she looked helplessly in the mirror trying to do something to her hair fitting the occasion: the ceremony declaring Thor as king of Asgard. The day he had been groomed for. She watched Loki cross the room and throw himself into a chair.

"It would be a shame if the day were to be postponed or something." He said in a low voice, settling himself lower in the chair, "I don't quite think I am ready to be under Thor's rule officially."

"I really hope you aren't planning anything foolish. I don't think even your mother could keep you safe if you did." Turning to face him she could feel the indignation radiating off of him like a furnace. Loki was always overlooked, always by his father in favor of Thor. Odin always seemed to forget he had a second son, even though he claimed to love them both equally, especially when it came to matters of leadership and command.

"What about the surprise announcement? I think we all know what is being planned with that!" he spat bitterly.

"If you are speaking of Thor's betrothal I think you are getting a head of yourself. It will not be me."

"Who else would it be, if that is indeed the announcement?"

"If anything Odin will leave it up to Thor to choose, and he would be a fool to not choose Lady Sif. There's a match for you. And there would be no hard feelings if I wasn't chosen, believe me on that. It's the last thing in the world I would want." She said turning back with an air of finality about the subject. Of course, they wouldn't pick her, Sigrun wasn't even Asgardian. She had little to no memory of her home and her family, and did not know the how or why of how she came to Asgard. All she knew was Frigga treated her no differently than her sons, and Odin treated her more like a ward than a daughter, which was fine by her on all accounts. She would hate to have the pressure he put on his sons, especially Thor. And she would have hated feeling the disappointment Loki felt every day of being second best. Her "brothers" were old enough when she was brought into their home to know she wasn't one of them, but as with Frigga, that didn't stop Thor from treating her as a sister.

With Loki however...

Sigrun heard movement behind her and looked at his reflection as Loki moved to get up and watched as he walked across the room to where she was standing in front of the mirror. Felt his hands caress her shoulders as he pulled her to lean back into him. With Sigrun's head against his chest and his long arms wrapped around her, she felt every vibration in his body, every breath, felt his unusual coolness through the thin gown. Goose bumps sprang up on Sigrun's arms.

"You will be queen one day; I have no doubt of it." He pressed his lips against her hair and breathed in deeply. "My love," He murmured, "My beautiful one."

"You talk as if you have a plan." Sigrun said as she turned around and nestled back into his chest.

"I always have a plan

"Nothing too crazy I hope?" She said worriedly as she pulled back to look up at him, and saw his eyes dancing mischievously. He blinked, still staring off, and bent his head down and pressed his lips against her forehead. His eyes now dancing with some emotion Sigrun couldn't read.

A knock on my door broke them apart.

"Sigrun? May I come in?" Frigga called through the door.

"Yes." She called back and Frigga entered wearing her best gown for the occasion.

"I figured Loki would be in here with you," she smiled warmly, "Are the two of you ready?"

"As ready as I can be." Loki mumbled, unable to hide his displeasure. Frigga crossed over to him and took his face in her hands.

"Your time will come. Surely, it will. You are a prince of Asgard." Sigrun could tell Loki wanted to pull away and argue with his mother, but his regard and love for her kept him from it. He closed his eyes and merely nodded.

The noise coming from the hall below told them it was time to head down to the ceremony. Frigga left urging her children not to take too long and to head down quickly. Once she left the room Loki quickly took Sigrun in his arms again, kissed her. Something in the kiss seemed desperate, yet excitable. Again there was something in him she could not read. Slowly, he let her go.

"Shall we head down?"

The ceremony hall was incredibly crowded and full of noise as Sigrun and Loki took their places at the end of the aisle and began to wait for their brother. All at once the sound of loud chatter turned into a mighty roar of applause as Thor began to make his way down the aisle. Swaggering was more like it, drinking in every second of being the center of attention.

Stealing a glance at Odin, Sigrun wasn't sure if he was all too confident in his choice of making Thor king that day. Looking at Loki showed him becoming more and more like a stone statue. Catching her glance he smirked, something that normally would melt her into a puddle, but it didnt quite reach his eyes.

Finally Thor knelt before his father. Odin stood, and began talking of kings of Asgard, and the usual, or so Sigrun assumed was the usual, speech for these types of things. When suddenly he stopped, and soon it was clear why, as the alarm sounded deep within the palace.

"The vault!" Odin yelled, as the guards began to move down the stairs to protect a vast collection of weapons Odin had required through his time as king.

All at once, Sigrun could have sworn she felt Loki's entire energy change at the sight of everything Thor wanted being halted, just a few words short.

Several moments later in the vault itself Odin and his children surveyed the damage caused by the intruders.

"Frost giants." Odin muttered. Sigrun hung back by the stairs but the tension in the air was thick.

"They will be punished for this." Thor said in a low voice, glaring about the room.

"They have been," Odin replied simply, checking to make sure the item which was the target was unharmed, "It has been done, and unsuccessfully. They will not try again."

"We must show them that this is not tolerated! We have a truce with the giants and they very obviously broke that truce!"

"I said it is finished! Nothing more is to be done! Besides checking our defenses to see how they entered the vault, let alone the realm. You will let this go and be done with it." Odin finished his surveying of the room. Gave his children another look and swept from the room.

Thor's rage of how is day was supposed to go and how it went led him to destroy the gathering hall. Sigrun stood far enough away as to not get pelted by whatever was closest for Thor to throw. He finally sat down on the steps and put his head in his hands defeated. Loki, watching all this from a corner went to sit by his brother.

"What are you doing?" Thor mumbled. Loki sat in silence.

"This was my day." Thor said, much like a spoiled child, "My day."

"If it makes you feel any better I agree with you. About punishing the frost giants I mean." Loki said quietly, as Sigrun moved closer to listen.

"Father is wrong about that." Thor agreed begining to get aggitated again.

"Whats to say they would try again and this time with an army?!"

"Exactly!"

"Unfortunetly there is nothing you can do without going agaisnt father" Loki said in a defeated tone. Thor jumped up suddenly.

"No, whatever you are thinking Thor forget it!" Sigrun said glancing over at Loki, knowing he had set Thor up for this brilliant idea. Just at that moment Thor's four closest friends and Asgards best warriors Volstagg, Hogrun, Fandral, and Lady Sif walked into the hall.

"Thinking about what?" Sif demanded.

"We are going to Jotunheim." Thor said proudly of his idea.

"Thor, you are mad, it is forbidden!" Sigrun said taking a few steps closer, taking another glance at Loki, who had put his head in his hands in a brilliant performance of looking exasperated.

"Why not?" He demanded, "Father is obviously wrong about this. It is for the good of Asgard that other worlds know we shall not sit idely by when we are provoked."

"Hear hear!" His friends said in unison.

"Will you join me brother?" Thor said turning to Loki, who, still had is head in his hands.


	2. Chapter 2

**Ones life is another's dream**  
**What someone says a myth is one's normality**  
**How can I**  
**Believe there's another sun**  
**Correct me if I'm wrong but I'm the chosen one**

**Amaranthe- "_Burn With Me"._**

* * *

Sigrun chased after Loki once they had left the hall to prepare to take the fight to Jotunheim.

"Are you crazy?" she demanded. "Your father will kill the both of you! You could have talked him out of it!" Loki picked up his daggers and placed them in strategic points about his person.

"You know as well as I do that once Thor has an idea like this in his head he will stop at nothing. Especially when it comes to showing off." he replied almost lazily. Sigrun watched him, trying to read him as no one else seemed to be able to, except for maybe Frigga. He had lost the stiffness and agitation from earlier in the day. She was bringing to suspect that it was indeed Loki who helped the frost giants into Asguard. Such a thing was known to be impossible, as it had never been attempted. And Loki, Loki with his infinite knowledge of the realms ins and outs. It would be foolish to think of anyone but Loki. But what could he have meant by it? What if they had completed in their mission and had stolen whatever it was they were after? Did he mean for them to be killed and just serve as a distraction?

Or...

"This is working out just as you wanted it to, isn't it?" she whispered. Loki froze, and turned around slowly.

"So perceptive, my love."

"What possible fun could you get out of going there, with only the six of you? Six of you! Against how many?" She said in an angry whisper as he moved closer.

"It won't get that far, Odin will come, set everything straight, we will come back, and Odin will see Thor for the foolish pig headed fool he is."

"And the point of it all?"

"The point of it is, is that it will give time for Odin to see me!" he said angrily, he voice rising with each word. His desperation for being at least an equal had driven him to this lowest point. Sigrun peered up into his face, a face contorted by pain and anger, by desperate need for this plan to work. His handsome features disfigured by the woefulness of it all.

"What do you need of me?" She said, stepping closer and pressed her forehead into his chest.

"Nothing." he said simply, "And if anyone asks, which they won't, but if they do...you had no knowledge of this."

She nodded, and turned to leave. Loki caught her arm and pulled her back to kiss the top of her head.

"My beautiful one." He murmured.

"LOKI!" Thor thundered from outside the door. "Let us go now!"

Sigrun took a step back, looked at Loki's face once more and turned to leave.

"Be safe." she called over her shoulder.

"Aren't I always?"

Back in her room she paced. She wondered how she was supposed to handle the situation. Loki's other tricks were always laughable after the shock subsided. But this? This was another thing all together. A truly desperate act, helping the enemy into Asgard. Into the palace! Into the vault! She moved to the window to see Thor and company ride across the bridge.

She was sure Loki had a plan. Did he not say they wouldn't get far into the frost giants realm before they would be stopped and return home? He had to have tipped someone off. A guard perhaps, she mused.

Several minutes had passed and she wondered what was taking so long. Maybe Heimdall didn't let them pass and Thor was throwing the most epic of tantrums at being thwarted at his master plan of showing Asgard wasn't to be messed with. She grabbed a book of her bedside table with the intention of taking outside nearer the bridge so if anything were to happen she could get there quickly. Hoping not to look conspicuous she hurried down the stone steps, the cool air wiping her hair about her face. Sigrun sat down and opened her book, although with no intention of actually reading.

What was taking so long? Had something gone wrong? Several more minutes passed. Still nothing. Until, and angry roar came from the direction of the palace.

"The guard must have told Odin." She said to herself, and watched as her adopted father made to the bridge to follow after his foolish sons, and the four best warriors he commanded.

Hoping Odin would pass her by in his rage, Sigrun sat still, staring down at her book.

"Did you know about your brother's foolishness?" he thundered as he passed her.

"What foolishness?" She replied hurriedly, jumping up and forgetting her book to follow.

"What foolishness indeed! It is forbidden to go there! FORBIDDEN!" As they reached the circular room, Sigrun felt her anxiety building.

"You will wait for me here, until I return with your brothers!" and then he was gone. Sigrun was terribly afraid now. She wasn't sure what Odin would do to Thor, let alone if Odin found about Loki's "prank". She had never seen her foster father in such a rage before. Not even when Loki changed his clothes and armor into a dress before a very important council meeting. Not even then.

It seemed like an eternity passed before the room began to whirl and spin announcing the arrival. Odin seemed to be continuing a rant they all emerged.

"Take them to the recovery wing!" he shouted at the warriors, as they half carried the wounded away.

"We could have destroyed them together father!" Thor thundered.

"You have no idea what your actions have done." Odin said quietly, with what sounded like the weight of millennia emphasized on each word.

Sigrun crept into the room to be nearer Loki, who was watching his father and brother intently, and grabbed his hand, and held it tightly. She briefly noticed damage to the forearm of his armor.

"The frost giants needed to be taught a lesson! We have taught them nothing except that the king of Asgard is weak foolish old man." Thor seemed to regret the words after he had said them. Odin seemed thoughtful for a moment.

"Yes… foolish. Foolish for thinking this cruel boy before me could be king."

"Father…" Loki started before Odin silenced him with a ferocious look. Sigrun grasped the back of his shirt and pulled him back.

"You are not worthy," Odin stepped close to Thor and began tearing the ancient sigils of Asgard from Thor's armor. "Not worthy of this realm, not worthy of the title of prince. You my son have a lot to learn!" He turned and opened the Bifrost. The room began spinning.

"Not worthy of the power you posses." Odin called Mjolnir to him, as Thor's armor disintegrated off of him. The air in the room stood still, no one breathed, the only sound was the whirling of the room.

"I, Odin Allfather cast you out!" Odin conjured rush of energy that shoved Thor out of Asgard. Sigrun watched as Odin whispered something to the hammer and that too was thrown from Asgard.

The whirling stopped, and everything was silent.


	3. Chapter 3

**Solace my game**  
**Solace my game, it stars you**  
**Swing wide your crane**  
**Swing wide your crane and run me through**

_**Bon Iver "The Wolves (Act I and II)**_

* * *

Sigrun was aware of her adopted father and Loki leaving her, still standing and still staring at the spot where Thor disappeared. The weight and confusion of her emotions kept her glued to the spot even hours afterward. She had not expected Odin to banish Thor from Asgard, although he was right in his anger, she wasn't sure what was going threw his mind the moment he pushed Thor from the realm. If her brother had come to his actions on his own she wouldn't be so tormented about what happened. Except, he wasn't. She had known that, deep down in her heart she knew it. It was too perfect, the timing of when the frost giants entered the vault. Loki all but fed Thor the idea of going to Jotunheim. He as good as told her he had planned it all! But…had he planned this? To be the last brother standing?

Finally, tearing herself from the wall of the circular room, she became aware that Heimdall had taken up his post guarding the Bifrost. She quietly crept past him, and made her way to the palace.

"We never should have gone." Volstag said as Sigrun passed one of the sitting rooms.

"We couldn't have stopped him." Sif replied sadly. Sigrun stepped into the room and eyed Loki standing quietly in the shadows, deep in thought, his eyes clouded in a darkness she had never seen.

"How did Odin know? How did he know to come to Jotunheim?" Fandall asked to no one in particular.

"Someone must have told him where we went." Hogun deep, gravelly voice came from a chair near the fire. Sigrun quietly crossed the room to where Loki was examing his hands. She pressed herself against him, running her hands up and down his arms and finally coming to rest atop his. He looked at her panicked.

"I told them." He said turning back to the warriors.

"You told-"Sif started

"Yes, I told a guard to inform Odin where we had gone as soon as we left. Incompetent ass shouldn't have taken so long." His eyes surveyed their faces of shock and betrayal. "It's a good thing I told him," Loki continued, "We would have been dead because of Thor's foolishness. I had no idea Odin would banish him." He finished quietly.

"Loki you must talk to your father. Convince him to bring Thor back." Sif pleaded.

"I can't do that." He said fiercely, twisted away from Sigrun, and stalked from the room, leaving the others feeling incredibly lost.

Sigrun made the trek to her chambers, not exactly remembering how she got there, and collapsed onto her bed. The ceremony was only hours ago, _hours_, and everything was so irreversibly changed.

"My love," Loki whispered, "wake up beautiful one." Sigrun opened her eyes, wondering when exactly she had fallen asleep.

"Loki?" she said sleepily, rubbing her eyes.

"Will you come with me?"

"Where?"

"There is just something I need to do. Do you trust me?"

That was the crux of the problem wasn't it? After the events of the day, did she trust him? The idea of not being able to trust him made her breath catch in her chest and an immeasurable weight settle in her stomach. He was the most incredible love of her life, the most important breathing thing to her in the entire universe, but, did she trust him. Looking at him she decided for the moment that at the very least she could trust him with her that she knew with every fiber of her soul that he wouldn't do anything that would harm her.

"Yes." She said quietly. He offered her his hand and pulled her up off the bed and into his arms, and hugged her more fiercely than anything she had ever felt in him before. Pressing his lips onto the top of her head he said, "Do you have any idea the immensity of which I love you?" She nuzzled closer into him.

"I think so but it's always nice to hear you say it." He placed a finger under her chin and tilted her face up to his as he bent down to kiss her lips gently but there was something else behind it she thought. He pulled away and began leading her to the door.

"I need you to come with me."

Moments later they began to descend the steps down into the vault.

"What are we doing here?" Sigrun asked in a whisper.

"I just need to see something." Loki said as he walked quickly to the end of the hall, to a pedestal that held the casket. Ever since they were small, Odin had told his children stories of how the frost giants had entered Midguard and slaughtered the people there. Odin and his army destroyed the armies of Jotenheim and followed them when they retreated back to their home. Their father, had spared the king of the frost giants Laufey, but had taken the casket, which was a key to their power, and sealed it away in vault. Never again, in thousands of years, had the frost giants dared to reach the power they once had.

They had reached the casket. Loki stared at it intently, then reached out and placed both hands upon it. Sigrun watched in horror as he picked up, and scarcely drew another breath as he began to change before her eyes.

His skin from where he held the casket turned blue, Loki himself seemed to stop breathing and watched as the color traveled up his arms. Terrified Sigrun touched his hand gingerly, shocked at how incredibly cold he was, and nearly collapsed when the red eyes of Loki, met her blue.

"Stop!" A voice rang through the vault coming from the stairs. Shakily, Sigrun turned to see Odin standing on the stairs.

"Am I cursed?" Loki's voice trembled with anger and fear. A long pause followed.

"No."

"Then what?" Loki placed the casket back onto the pedestal, and turned to show his father what he had become.

"You are my son."

"No, I am not." Loki began to walk slowly to Odin, and stopped before the stairs. Sigrun followed, her breath coming in short, quiet gasps. "That damned casket wasn't the only thing you took was it?" His voice was shaking now.

"No…" Odin said quietly.

"Tell me."

"After everything, we searched the palaces and temples, we found a baby…"

"A baby…" Loki said quietly. Sigrun didn't want to hear anymore, because she knew what was coming before it was even said.

"Laufey's son." Odin confirmed.

"Laufey's son…" Loki repeated quietly, tears began to swim in his eyes, he anger in his face fell away, and he looked like a petrified child. "Why did you take me? What purpouse would I have served you?" He demanded.

Odin was thoughtful for a moment. "I thought, eventually, we could unite the realms with you; bringing a permanent peace to everyone."

"So where I truly belong is in this vault! Locked up, until I would be useful to you! Like everything else you have collected!" He said gesturing to the other relics around him.

"None of that has mattered for a long time. You are my son."

"I am not!" Loki roared, tears flowing freely now. Sigrun reached out a hand to touch him, to try and comfort him but he shook her off. "It makes every bit of sense now," he continued his voice rising with every word. "Why you overlooked me for all these years-"

"Loki…" Odin looked suddenly very tired and reached out to him.

"All these years, I never had a chance did I?!" Odin was falling to the floor, still reaching for his son. Sigrun was frozen where she stood. "You never would have let me have the throne! You never would have let a frost giant sit on the throne of Asgard!" Loki screamed, spit flying from his mouth, as Odin finally collapsed unconscious on the stairs.

A heartbeat passed, and Loki's face softened.

"What are we going to do?" Sigrun said in a small voice, breathless. Loki bent and reached out to touch his father. It felt like a thousand boulders had settled in her stomach, and with each breath she took it she thought she could feel them being tossed about.

"Loki, we have to call someone." He looked at her for a long second and then back to his father, and began to call for help. As the guards filed in, Sigrun and Loki backed away watching them work and begin to carry Odin away.

When they were alone in the vault, Loki stared at the spot where Odin fell; tears were still falling down his face silently. Sigrun reached out and shook him to bring him back to the present; his green eyes met her blue.

"I love you." She said firmly, her voice echoing off the walls. He gathered her into his arms, and held her desperately, like a drowning man clinging to a life raft in the middle of the most treacherous ocean.


	4. Chapter 4

**It's just a drop in the ocean**  
**A change in the weather**  
**I was prayin' that you and me might end up together**  
**It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert**  
**But I'm holding you closer than most**  
**Cause you are my heaven**

_**Ron Pope- "Drop In The Ocean"**_

* * *

Hours later, Sigrun was with Loki in his chambers. He had spoken very little of what had happened, and their lovemaking had been fierce, rough and desperate; Loki trying to drive away every thought and wishing to keep new ones from entering, while Sigrun wanted nothing more than to comfort him. After, Loki fell finally to sleep, his head resting on a pillow, his arms wrapped tightly about her, as she listened to his heartbeat with an ear pressed against his chest. Turning to look up at him, she was relieved to see that his features were finally peaceful, his handsome face finally smoothed out and no longer contorted with anger.

_Frost giant_, she thought to herself. It sounded weird in her head.

"Frost giant." It sounded even more so when she whispered it aloud. The two seemingly simple words got hitched in her throat and stumbled of her tongue when she said them.

_Frost giant_.

Looking at Loki she tried to make some kind of connection, that somehow she must have known, no one else in the palace seemed to know or treated him any differently. She remembered stories of the frost giants Frigga and Odin told them as children, the same stories parents all over Asgard told their children. Monsters, beasts that laid waste to any and every land they had set foot on. Sigrun tried to remember the fear she had felt after hearing those stories, and always had a fear of a frost giant being under the bed. It seemed impossible that Loki, her best friend, was one of these stories that made her tremble as a child.

Odin's plan had backfired, it was obvious. She wondered at what point he decided his idea to use Loki as a peace tool disappeared and was replaced with wanting to raise him as his own, and why he and Frigga never told him what he was.

_Monster._

She ran her fingers threw his long black hair as he murmured in his sleep. No, this couldn't be right. She shivered and drew the blanket tighter around them, thinking then if it was the revelation of the past day that made him seem cooler than usual.

Frigga never treated him any different, or her for that matter. Sigrun remembered the day Frigga brought the two boys into her room and introduced them as her new brothers. Thor was impressive even then, and Loki had peered out from behind his mother, he was dark and quick but the smile he gave her stayed with her. She couldn't remember her home or her family there, but she remembered that. They were always together from that moment. Both of them had shared a great love of books while Thor loved to show off and prove himself. Sigrun and Loki spent hours in heated discussions on the books they had absorbed that day. When Frigga would teach them her magic, Loki always got that hang of each and every incantation. Where he excelled, Sigrun struggled, but he never belittled her and with his help eventually became very proficient at the skills they learned. Sigrun was usually, the buffer between Loki and their parents. His tricks and adventures got him into trouble, but she was usually, able to talk him out of taking things too far or from keeping Odin from punishing him too harshly. But, once in a while, she couldn't help to be in on the fun as well.

She couldn't put her finger on when those feelings changed into something other than what she felt as a child. When they were older she remembered late one night they were having a particularly angry argument about something now that seemed so trivial, so absolutely foolish that she cannot even remember. She remembered Loki storming out of her room, and remembered the feeling of despair when he, Thor and the other warriors left to fight some battle on Midgard. Their last words had been in anger and what would happen if she couldn't take them back? Or worse still, what if he came back and they both still meant them? But, as soon as they returned he searched for her, before going to the healing room himself. When he found her finally, they had stood, rooted to the spot, just staring at each other.

"Do you understand the intensity of which I love you?" He said finally. His face was smudged with a mixture of dirt and blood, and his armor dented and torn. She was frozen as her brain had exploded with the realization, and her heart beat like a bird's wings trapped in a cage.

"I don't..." She had started to reply unable to take her eyes off of him. How could it have been any different? It was beginning to be so obvious, but she had overlooked it. He took a deep breath and stepped forward.

"I love you, beautiful one. I don't know when it happened," He shook his head, "I just know I cannot do anything without having you with me. While I was gone, all I could think about what was the other night, all I needed to do was come back and tell you."

She stared at him incredulously. Her mind was racing, her heart felt like it was about to beat out of her chest. How could it be anyone but him? Her Loki. Hers. She took a shaky breath and crossed the space between them, and sank into him, holding him with everything she could muster. He tilted her face up to his and began to place small, soft kisses across her forehead and down her face. Her skin tingled as his lips danced gracefully across her.

"I love you, of course, I do. What else could I do?" She breathed.

"May I?" And her answer was to press her lips against his more passionately than she could have dreamed possible.

Sigrun shook her head as she remembered all these things. _Frost giant_. The words felt and sounded more foreign than ever before.

"What are you thinking of?" Loki's eyes had opened and he was searching her face, as he entangled his fingers in her long muddy brown hair.

"I was just thinking of when we both realized how stupid we had been." She murmured, placing kisses on his bare chest.

"Oh yes," he chuckled, "I remember that. Your face would have been priceless if I wasn't about to pour my heart out to you, especially with the possibility that you would have rejected me."

"There was never a possibility of that." She nipped his chest playfully, and heard a rumble in his throat as he dragged her closer so he could kiss her mouth, more passionately then he could have ever thought possible.


	5. Chapter 5

**So tell me now, where was my fault**

**In loving you with my whole heart**

_**Mumford and Sons- "White blank Page."**_

* * *

"My father is in the Odin-sleep, my mother seems to think he may never wake up," Loki's voice rang out in the throne room. Sigrun crept through the doorway to see Thor's friends kneeling before Loki who was draped lazily across the throne. "You can bring whatever troubles you have to me…your king." He finished proudly. No one seemed to want to speak first.

"Well…my lord…we were thinking, rather hoping that uhhh." Fandall started.

"That you could bring Thor back." Lady Sif finished for him. Loki made a noise that Sigrun thought it was a cross between a chuckle and growled. She moved to stand beside him.

"In these troubled times I can hardly undo the last king's last decree. The people need some sense of stability." He said slowly standing up.

"But-"

"No! We are done here." Loki all but snarled with authority. Sigrun was aware of six pairs of eyes boring into her, and she kept hers fixed on the wall opposite.

"Yes…my lord." They turned to leave, while Sif stared at Loki with a scathing look.

"You'll want to be careful my love, they may start to suspect something." Sigrun said once they were alone.

"Suspect what?" Loki said slyly, taking his seat back on the throne.

"You know what."

"I have nothing to worry about." He extended a hand to her. "Come here my Queen."

"Your mother is still queen." she said not moving.

"Mother is worried he won't wake up."He repeated. She looked at him, unsure of herself.

"Loki…"

"Everything will be fine."

"How can you be sure of that?" Her voice was shaking now as she took his hand.

"Because we deserve it more than any of them." He whispered against her neck.

_Maybe,_ she thought.

* * *

Pacing the castle, she was unsure of what to do. There didn't seem to be a right answer. Loki was planning something big. Bigger than she could comprehend, but to warn anyone would be betraying Loki, while not doing so made her a traitor to the only home she had ever known. She found herself in front of Frigga's and Odin's chambers and hesitated before she stepped inside. Frigga was at Odin's bedside, her post since he had fallen into the deep sleep. She smiled when she saw Sigrun.

"I was wondering when you would stop by." She said.

"I was wondering too," she looked at her adopted father, "things have been…complicated."

"Yes, they have." She replied sadly.

"Will he wake up?"

"This time was so different, the stress of everything, we had no idea this was coming." Tears sprang up in Sigrun's eyes. They did not go unnoticed by her mother.

"Come now, we must not lose hope that you father will awaken soon, and that Thor will return."

"What hope is there for Thor?" Loki's voice asked quietly from the doorway.

"There is always hope, and there is always wisdom in what you father does." Frigga said.

"The same wisdom that kept him from telling me the truth?" Once again, his love for Frigga kept his anger in check. Frigga had no response for him.

* * *

Later that night, Sigrun was standing on her balcony, breathing in the cool night air. She had watched Loki cross the rainbow bridge, returning from the Bifrost, and she had hoped he wouldn't look for her right away.

"There you are beautiful one." Damn, she turned to see Loki walking toward her.

"Where were you?" She asked her question surprised him.

"Trying too repair the damage Thor did when he stormed Jotunheim." His reply was simple. _Jotunheim_, it didn't sit right with her. Sigruns stomach was doing a dance in her abdomen.

"Loki, whatever you are doing-"

"You look beautiful tonight," He interrupted, "reminds me of the night when I returned from that battle on Midgard. Remember?"

"Unfortunetly, your silver tongue doesn't work in situations like this. Not with me" She said shaking her head. His eyes bored into her, but she stared back.

"I cannot tell you…it would be dangerous for you if you knew. If this doesn't work, I can't have you fall with me." It was bad, she thought to herself. She reached out a hand, beckoning him to come to her. Loki crossed the balcony and Sigrun pulled him close, he rested his head on hers.

"If there's a risk of falling, why bother? Surely, what you want can't be worth what you'd have to do."

"Then I won't fall."

They stood there for a long moment, Loki's heart beating slow and steady, while hers pounded away in her chest warning her something was coming.

"What?!" Loki pulled away, Sigrun turned as the Bifrost roared to life announcing someone's departure.

"Those fools!" Loki growled and stormed back into the palace.

"Who?" Sigrun called chasing after him. Loki didn't answer as he walked quickly down to the vault.

"Loki stop!" But he didn't listen; she followed him down the stairs and stopped short of where he did. As he banged the king's staff on the floor the wall behind the casket disappeared, the destroyer walked out of the white light, Sigrun forgot how to breathe.

"Make sure Thor does not return. Destroy everything." Loki commanded, and the metal giant was gone.

"Loki…" Sigrun whispered behind him, "What have you done?"

"What needed to be done." he said in a low voice turning to face her.

"He is your brother!"

"He is not!"

_Frost giant_. The word didn't sound as strange in her head now.

"Frost giant." She whispered, it didn't catch and stumble in her mouth as it had done before.

"What?" Loki looked stricken.

"Frost giant." She said it louder, Loki looked like she had slapped him, "all those stories we were told as children! The monsters that kept us awake at night. You….you…." She couldn't finish.

"Sigrun, please, it will be worth it in the end. Please." He pleaded. But she didn't hear him; she had already ascended the steps and was out of sight.


	6. Chapter 6

**It all went by so fast;**

**I still can't change the past**

**I always will remember everything**

**If we could start again,**

**Would that have changed the end?**

**We remember everything, everything.**

_**Five Finger Death Punch- "I Remember Everything"**_

* * *

Blood pounded in Sigrun's ears, and her heart stampeded. She flew through the halls of the palace, not daring to stop to catch her breath. She had to do something, she had to warn Thor. Sigrun flew into her room, slammed the lock down behind her and pressed her head against the wood, trying to catch her breath. How long had it been since she had to astral project? Probably since Frigga and Loki tried to teach her, and she was never any good at it, she prayed she could do it now when it mattered most.

Her body was calm now, the beating in her chest had slowed some, and her breath wasn't coming in rattling gasps. She had to focus. Sigrun put all her energy into finding Thor on earth, one second she was surrounded by her home, the next she was standing in front of her brother.

"Sigrun?" Thor said not daring to believe it. Others stood with him, two women and a man. Also, it became obvious to her who at left Asgard as Lady Sif, and the warriors three stood next to him.

"Loki," She said breathlessly, still trying to focus all of her energy into staying with him, "he saw them leave," pointing to the warriors, "he sent the destroyer to earth."

"How do you know this?" Thor asked.

"I was with him. Thor, I am so sorry, I never thought it would get to this. This isn't Loki," She said shaking her head, eyes burning with tears, "This isn't him." Thor moved to touch her face, but stopped short remembering she was only an image. A noise behind them made the group look toward the open desert.

"Guess who landed?" Fandall said brightly.

"Thor you can't fight this, you are mortal now. You can't." Sigrun pleaded. Thor looked at her sadly, and the tears flowed freely, and her body shook with quaking sobs as she slid to the floor of her chambers.

* * *

She had betrayed Loki by warning Thor, and that made her sob harder. She didn't understand how he could be so desperate in his need to be equal with his brother, or his need for a throne. She had misjudged him if she hadn't maybe this wouldn't be happening. Her body hurt from the sobs racking her body and she wanted nothing more than to be with Loki, her Loki, not the monster she was told of when she was a child. Sigrun placed her face on the cool stone and laid there for a long time.

A knock on the door and Loki's voiced called through it.

"Sigrun? May I come in for a moment?" Sigrun heaved herself off the floor; she stood for a second wondering if she should. She eyed herself in the mirror and saw her eyes were still puffy and her lips were cracked from crying. Crossing the room she willed herself to open the door. Loki stood, looking at the floor.

"I need to talk to you." He began. Sigrun turned and talked to the middle of the room and faced him, "I need you to say here tonight. "He continued as he shut the door and followed her into the room.

"Why?"

"The why isn't important. What is important is you stay here and do not leave, no matter what." Sigrun stared at him for a second, and then looked at the floor and nodded. She heard him move and realized he had moved to stand in front of her. A cool finger lifted her chin up.

"Never doubt the intensity of which I love you, beautiful one." He said so quietly she could hardly make out a word.

"I don't…" She said just as quietly when a kiss cut her off, and the kiss frightened her. It was filled with such a feral desperation that made her knees shake, when he took his lips off hers, he took a shaky breath.

"Of course I love you, what else could I do?" She said, echoing the words of years and years ago. He started kissing her face, small kisses danced across her skin, each one setting the spot he touched ablaze despite the coolness of his lips. He tore himself away from her.

"I need to go."

"Loki, you can stop this now, before it gets too far." Sigrun said to his retreating back.

"It's already too far." And he was gone.

* * *

Sigrun was like a caged animal as she paced her room. Whatever Loki was planning it was happening tonight. She couldn't stay here. She slowly crept out of her room, the palace was quiet. Silently she moved down the halls until she came to the door to Odin and Frigga's chambers and went inside. Frigga was asleep on the bed set off to the side, but Sigrun didn't wake her. She sat down where Frigga usually kept her post and waited for the other shoe to drop.

She wondered if it was right to be feeling angry with Odin. If he had told Loki from the beginning Thor would not be in danger on earth and Loki would still be her Loki. But then again, Loki was no longer a child, and he knows what his actions would do. Tears threatened to make an appearance again, and she closed her eyes.

"Sigrun! Sigrun wake up!" Frigga was shaking her, and at once she knew why, ice was creeping along the walls and covered the door. Frigga released Sigrun and grabbed a sword from its home at the foot of Odins bed. Sigrun jumped up, she had no idea what she was going to do, she was never trained with a sword nor was she skilled in any magic that would help her. But in that moment nothing mattered as the doors swung open. Frost giants, they entered the room as Frigga managed to cut one down and was then tossed across the room like a rag doll. Sigrun took a futile stance in front of Odin; the giant laughed an ugly laugh and swatted Sigrun away like a fly. Her face and chest exploded with pain as the giant's arm made contact, and her body crumbled when she hit the wall and crashed the floor.

"Stay put." The giant growled as he pinned her, conjured a blade of ice and held it to her throat. She gasped as the sharp edge began to slice into her skin, and felt the warm trickle that could only be blood.

"They say you can still hear and see what goes on around you." She heard the frost giant say to Odin. "I hope that's true, so that you will know your end came by the hand of Laufey." Laufey, the name exploded in Sigrun's brain. She saw the shadow of a hand with a blade rise above Odin.

A crack and then it was gone.

"And you end came from the son of Odin." Loki's voice rang proudly, another crack and Laufey was dead. The giant above Sigrun roared with anger at his king's murder, but he too was destroyed. Frigga jumped up to hug her son.

"You saved him!" Frigga cried as she rushed over to hug Loki. He had eyes for no one but Sigrun who was struggling to right herself. Her body screamed with pain, and her face was throbbing, she still felt the warm trickle of blood.

"I swear, those that did this will surely pay." Looking at his mother, Loki crossed the room to Sigrun and helped her sit up.

"I told you to stay in your room." He said sadly, pressing the back of his hand to her face where a bruise was blooming and whipped away some of the blood with the other.

"I couldn't." She said thickly pressing her face into his hand.

"I am so sorry my love."

"What was the point of it?" She asked quietly.

"Thor! I knew you would return to us!" Frigga words caught Loki off guard. He stood up slowly to face his brother.

"Brother…how nice to see you." He said slowly.

"Why don't you tell her brother,"Thor said gesturing to Frigga,"How you lead frost giants into Asgard, sent the destroyer to kill me and destroy Midgard. Tell her!" he roared the final words. Sigrun used the wall to brace herself as she slid up into a standing position.

"What?" Frigga whispered incredulously.

"It's good to have you back brother. But if you'll excuse me, I am off to destroy Jotunheim." A heartbeat passed, and then Loki used the king's staff to blast Thor out of sight.


	7. Chapter 7

**And I told you to be patient**

**And I told you to be fine**

**And I told you to be balanced**

**And I told you to be kind**

**And now all your love is wasted**

**And then who the hell was I?**

**And I'm breaking at the britches**

**And at the end of all your lines**

_**Bon Iver- "Skinny Love."**_

* * *

Sigrun watched helplessly as Loki sprinted from the room. It took all her strength to stand upright even with the all for support. Frigga sank slowly into a chair and said nothing. A noise creped through the thick walls of the palace and reverberated in her head. She knew she had to get to the Bifrost. Taking a few tentative steps her body seared with pain and bile crept up into her throat. Something was broken, she was positive of that. The sound grew louder urging her forward. She had to get to Loki.

She began to run. Violent sobs wrenched their way from her mouth, but she kept running, if she stopped she was sure she wouldn't be able to continue. She could hear the sounds of fighting; it had to be Thor and Loki. Reaching the bridge, she saw the circular room whirling fiercely, covered in ice. The sight caused Sigrun to stumble and crash into the ground. Pain exploded in every cell in her body, how could she get to him now?

A piece of the wall exploded as Thor and Loki crashed thru. She saw Loki hanging from the bridge and her heart sank like a stone. Thor bent to help him, and she saw Loki vanish, and then the horror of the true Loki spearing his brother with the staff. She crawled forward, each movement creating a spasm of agony. Loki had Thor surrounded by several copies of him.

"Enough!" She heard Thor thunder, creating a bolt of electricity to stop Loki from creating more copies. The true Loki was flung backwards and landed hard on his back. Sigrun kept crawling, but she wasn't noticed. Thor walked up to his brother and placed Mjölnir on his chest. Loki struggled under the burden. Thor walked slowly toward the spinning room.

"Look at you now! The mighty Thor!" Loki mocked, groaning with the weight of the hammer, "There's nothing you can do." Sigrun finally reached Loki.

"Loki, stop. Please." He didn't seem to hear her. Thor called his hammer to him, and began to hit the bridge.

"What are you doing?" Loki asked shocked sitting up. Thor continued his task. The bridge cracking and crumbling from the force.

"Loki! Stop!" Sigrun grabbed his shoulder, begging him to listen to her.

"If you destroy the bridge you'll never see her again!" Loki screamed still ignoring Sigrun. Thor paused for a moment…for the fraction of a heart beat.

"I'm sorry Jane." Thor said with difficulty and swung the hammer high above his head. Pushing Sigrun back, he grabbed the staff that lay next to him, and charged his brother. Thor's hammer struck the bridge one last time.

The explosion of the bridge severing threw Thor and Loki into the air. Sigrun felt something rush passed her, and watched in slow motion as Thor and Loki fell, just short of the broken bridge. Just as they began to fall out of sight she saw Odin, as he grasped Thor's leg and held it tightly. Loki, holding onto the staff that Thor was now holding. Sigrun scrambled to Odin's side.

"I could have done it father!" Loki yelled his voice cracking, "for you, for all of us!"

"No Loki." Odin said sadly.

Sigrun peered over the side, weeping. His green eyes met her blue. He smiled, something only her Loki could do.

"My love, my beautiful one." He said softly.

"Loki don't…please…we can fix this." She said between sobs. His hand began to slip.

"Loki, no!" Thor pleaded. Loki looked at his brother, his father, and finally at Sigrun. She knew…just knew…there was no coming back from this, it had gone too far. There was always the risk of falling and now it was going to happen.

"Loki, "Her voice barely made a sound as he let go. Thor screamed in anguish, Odin didn't seem to be able to speak, Sigrun's sobs were coming in almighty waves, so hard that she couldn't make a noise. She watched as Loki, the most incredible love of her world, fell from sight.

* * *

Sigrun had no idea how long she stayed kneeling at the point where her world ended. The pain in her body matched nothing to the pain she felt emotionally. She was vaguely aware of Heimdall taking his post at the end of the severed bridge. There was no point, in the end of Loki's plan. How could he have done this to her, how could he leave her alone? He had left her; he had chosen to leave her. With all the intensity of which he always claimed to love her, he still gave up.

She felt wetness on her check and reached up to impatiently brush the tears away. How was she supposed to go on without him when they had spent no more than a few days part since Frigga first brought him to her room? How was she ever supposed to feel whole again when he was everything to her? Her eyes grew heavy, any movement made her body made explode with pain. She vaguely wondered if that was a good thing, it meant she hadn't fallen with Loki. She laid her head down on the bridge and let the tears takeover.

She didn't know how long she had been asleep, but she was woken up by strong arms picking her up from the ground. She opened to eyes to see Thor.

"I never thanked you for warning me." He said quietly, carrying her to the palace.

"Don't mention it." She said with difficulty. Sigrun was aware of eyes on the pair of them as Thor carried her through the castle and up to her chambers. Gently, Thor laid her in her bed.

"Drink this." Thor handed her a cup. She sniffed it and down it in one gulp, and gave it back.

"Thank you." She said settling down into the pillows, Thor nodded. Sigrun felt the pain disappear and felt sleepy again. Thor moved to leave.

"Don't, please. Can you stay?" Sigrun asked sleepily, her words slurring slightly.

"Of course." He settled back into the chair, and Sigrun slipped into sleep.

* * *

Sun streamed through her window and washed over Sigrun. She sat up, wincing and looked around. Thor was still sitting where he promised he would be. She felt her tear ducts burn.

"Oh Thor, I'm so sorry." She started.

"Don't," Thor said, "Theres no way you could have known how far Loki had gone."

"I did…But things got too far, and I couldn't pull him back."

"You warned me about the destroyer, I know what it took you to do that."

"I should have done more."

"You know as well as I do that something changed in him. That wasn't my brother." She silently agreed. Sigrun stretched, flexing her muscles. She felt sore but nothing as bad as she had felt before.

"Thank you again for the potion."

"You are my sister; it was the least I could do." Thor said. He began to get up.

"What am I going to do Thor? What am I supposed to do now?" She asked desperately grabbing his arm.

"You go on living. You do what he can't." He touched her face. It was warm, not like the coolness of Loki's fingers. Turning to leave he stopped at the door.

"There is a feast tonight; mother and father will expect you to be there."

"A party, you mean. Because Asgard is safe, because Loki is gone."

He looked at her sadly and walked out of the room.

* * *

Sigrun heard the noise of the celebration before she entered the room. She took a step inside and heard the laughter and the chatter. The noise was beginning to make her crazy, with a sob she ran out the hall and ran to the bridge.

She saw Thor and Heimdall at the break in the bridge.

"Can you see her?" Thor's voice carried thru the air.

"Yes." Heimdall's deep voice boomed, even though his tone was quiet.

"How is she?"

"She searches for you." Heimdall said simply, his voice vibrating in Sigrun's bones now that she stood beside them. Thor smiled, at the thought of the girl on Midgard. The wind wiped Sigrun's muddy brown hair as she peered over the bridge to see the spot where her life seemingly ended. She felt a strong arm pull her close and she realized, with annoyance, that once again her body was shaking with noiseless sobs.

"You'll be okay little sister." He said. Sigrun wanted to argue, but she didn't have the strength.

* * *

Months had passed since the day Loki fell, and Sigrun moved through life as a ghost. Thor tried constantly to get her to where she used to be, or at least a new sense of normal. But what point was there in anything without Loki? Dark circles under eyes, told every one of her sleepless nights, and nightmares of watching Loki fall, endlessly falling.

One night, Sigrun fell into a fitful sleep. Almost immediately Loki began falling, and in her dream Sigrun started screaming. But this dream was different; Loki kept falling until suddenly…he landed. He smiled a smile that made her blood run cold. His green eyes met her blue.

"My love, my beautiful one."


End file.
